Moravian Lives @ Moravian U

Elizabeth Bethell

1783.

Leominster Archives Course of Life of our late Maid Sister Eliz: Bethell from her own hand Writing.

I was born May the 21st 1754 in the Town of Monmouth where my Father was placed as Officer in the Excise, & in my third Year my Father was removed to Leominster in Herefordshire; When I was about Six Years old, my Aunt took me to her into Shropshire; She had no Child of her own, & was tender to me; My Unkle was of a rough disposition and subject to swear very much, which made me think God would not love him; for if I thought if I did once Swear I shd go to the bad Place, & I often would go to the retir’d part of the Garden to pray to God to keep me from the place where bad Children were sent to. I was very fond of reading Books that mentiond anything about God; at last my Aunt began to be uneasy about me, & thought I was not playfull enough like other Children: In my 12th Year my Mother came for me, & took me home that I might have better Education; This was a hurt to me, & I soon got a Love for pleasure, & vain amusements &quite forgot my religious Course; My Mother was exceding fond of me & often would remind me what a reward was promised to those that love God; but the ever faithfull friend of Sinners knew how to make my pleasant days bitter, by taking from me my tender, & Affectionate Mother in a few Months after I came home; this was a great trial to me, & the holy Ghost Spirit showed me how I had Sinned against God in getting out of the simple track I was in, in my youngerYears; I often called to mind how my dear Mother on her death Bed cryed out Dear Savr come & take me; & in a short time he took her to himself without Sigh or groan: I found I had now lost a good Friend, & had it more difficult in many respects; This was a means of stirring up my thoughts to a religious Course, & I was glad to get into any Corner I could to pray to God; & I often wish’d to return again to my Aunt, & carried a Book in my Pocket to be ready to go at any time; In a short time I became so distress’d about my Salvation that I would freely have given my body to have saved my Soul from the Misery wch I expected the Lord would lay upon me: I was now about 14 Years old; and my distress encreasing I once went into the Fields, & wander’d about where there was no Path for 

any one to see me & stay’d until it was dark: At another time the Enemy put such thoughts into my Head, as I saw no likelyhood of my finding happiness on Earth, I would therefore take the first Opportunity of putting an end to my Life; and I went one day by the Water Side to compleat my Wicked Intention; but the ever faithful Friend of Sinners still watched over me, & prevented my wicked design: I returned home with Shame, & true Repentance, begging of the Lord to put all such thoughts far from me, & to look in Mercy on my afflicted Soul; A few Nights after I dreamed that I was in my Fathers Garden, & was sighing & bemoaning my distress of heart, & I thought I heard a great Noise, & looking up towards the Sky I thought I saw numbers of Angels coming towards me wch lighted down by me, so that the Walk where I was was full; they were as I thought all dressed in white, & I was the same, they had each of them two Wings wch I thought grew out of each Shoulder, but I thought I had none; After a short time spent in singing, & a Sweet harmony of Musick, I thought all those happy Spirits went to a fine Pool of Water wch was in a Meadow, & I went with them, & I thought we all washed our Feet; And after that they all flew up, & I was left alone: I then got more easy in my Mind, & thought I might take it for granted that God would forgive me my Sins or I should not have had such a pleasant dream: I soon forgot to whom I was to look for preservation, & got into a very Self working Strain for some time. In my 22d Year was marrd to my present Husband, in this new State I was more Introduc’d to Company & Pleasure, but still kept Self-righteousness very close to me; but at length I grew that I could mix -Religion & the pleasures of the World together. I had a very tender and Affectionate Husband, & I went on in my unhappy State very easy for about 4 Years. (after I was marry’d  married) about wch time I went to hear the Brn now & then, & I soon began to Wish to be in some connexion with them, wch was granted me, my dear Savr soon shewed me how filthy all my self righteousness appeared, & that nothing but being washed in the blood of the Lamb would make me happy: The enemy of Man now began to Roar, & great uneasiness arose

arose on account of my leaving the Church; this was a time of great trial unto me: I saw I could not please God & Mammon, & our dear Savr gave me the Grace to make choice of him, & leave all other troubles to his direction. On Christmas Day 1781. I had the Grace to be recd into the Congn; & on the 13th of Aug: 1782. our dear Lord permitted me to be Spectator at the holy Comn with the Congn in London the first time, wch blessed time I shall never forget; Our dear Savrs Presence was so near me, that he appeared to me as hanging in his crucified form before my Eyes; I never can thank & adore him enough for his unbounded Love to me the chief of Sinners, who makes such small returns, & proves so ungratefull for such boundless Love wch he bestows on me his poorest Creature: Soon after my return home from London I was taken ill, & the Lamb that was Crucified – without the Gates of Jerusalem, that Friend of Sinners never withdrew his sweet nearness from me during my Confinement; at wch time I recd his Body & Blood in the holy Comn for the first time on my Sick Bed to my Souls comfort: This memorial day was the 14th of October 1782. Since wch time I have had repeated Seals of his Love; O grant I may always remain as a poor Sinner at his Feet

Thus far her own Account.

In our late Sisters heavy Sickness which begun last October our Lord supported her in a very gracious manner, & many of her Friends & Acquaintance who had been much against her were now qu ite overcome, & agreeably Struck with her sereene & happy disposition of heart & that Peace of God which was felt ruling in her heart; and the simple real & unaffected Confession of what our dear Savr is to a poor Creature who believes in him made a good Impression on many, and wch we hope – will not be forgotten: When at times she was better she attended the Meetings dilligently, & indeed often recover’d to our Surprize; was particularly thankfull for being able to attend the Meetings when Br La Trobe was here and to hear the Synod read, & took it as a favour & Gift from our Savr; Was much concern’d for her two Children (the younger being deaf & dumb) that

they might be preserv’d for our Savr; & her whole desire was that they might be under the Care of the Brethen, & spoke fully thereon with her Husband & Father.  In the last Period of her Sickness which lastd about 3 Weeks, & was very afflicting She had still to learn in the School of the H Ghost what a poor Creature she was, & to be Stript of every thing but Jesus & his Mood; About 14 Days before her departure when the extremity of Pain had brot her – almost to distraction, & wherein the comfort from our Savr was not so clear to her heart; She was afterwards enabled to rejoice the more in the feeling of his gracious Presence & Peace, and desired the Brn & Srs to thank our Savr for what he had done for Her, wch was done with a gratefull Impression: The same Evening being again able to speak she sent for Br & Sr Mortimer & spoke very heartily with them, told them She had spoke fully with her Husband & Father regarding the Children &c. Was Sinner like & loving & our hearts tenderly united to thank our Lord for all Mercy bestow’d on her, & that he would still graciously Accomplish all his Thoughts of Peace in her & with her. On the 29th which was her last she express’d her self very lovingly to all about her, and then said: O thou Lamb of God which takest away the Sin of the World thou hast also took away mine, & wilt receive me bad as I am: Said to those about her He has taken away my hearing, but has given me my Speech to tell You he will receive me. She then said: Thou hast made my Bed soft, while thou diedst on the Ignominious Free; Thy Head was crown’d with Thorns Thy Back plow’d with deep Furrows &c. We could perceive almost to her last, or as long as she was able to aim at speaking it was about the Sufferings & death of our gracious Saviour: Her last moments were accompanied with our heart Prayers, beseeching our dear Lord to bless and to receive this his redeemed Soul; who now enter’d into his everlasting Rest in the 30th Year of this dying Life.