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Title
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Thomas Shoesmith (1741-1770)
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Publisher
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Moravian Lives Project
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Date
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1770
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Type
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Text
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Format
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image/jpeg
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Description
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This memoir recounts the troubled life and spiritual conversion of Thomas Shoesmith (1741–1770), a Moravian man from Yorkshire who struggled throughout his youth with rebellion, pride, anger, and unstable behavior despite being raised among the Brethren. He resisted religion, behaved badly toward his family, briefly served as a soldier, and experienced periods of mental distress and moral conflict. Though often convicted in conscience, he remained inwardly restless and unhappy for many years.
Near the end of his life, after developing consumption, he underwent a profound spiritual change, openly confessing his sins and expressing deep repentance for his past behavior. He came to believe that Christ had forgiven him and increasingly longed to leave the world and “go home” to his Savior. The memoir ends by portraying his death in 1770 at age 29 as peaceful, redeemed, and spiritually triumphant after a life marked by struggle and eventual reconciliation with God.
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Subject
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Shoesmith, Thomas, 1741-1770
Moravians--Biography
Biographies
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Identifier
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Ful/3/20
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Place
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Fulneck, England
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Language
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eng
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Extent
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4 pages
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Rights Holder
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Fulneck Moravian Archives, Fulneck, UK
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transcript of
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(reading version)
The course of life of the Married Brother Thomas Shoesmith, whose remains were interned on July 24, 1770.
He was born on February 20th, 1741 in Norwood Green in the Parish of Halifax Yorkshire; and baptized in the Church of England. His parents, being some of the first Yorkshire people that adhered to the Brethren, perceived in his boy years that he was often much drawn by our dearest Saviour, and he knew it himself, but continually resisted the grace offered unto him, and even hindered his Brothers and Sisters by his bad course. He did not like to go to the meetings and would have even hindered his parents, to which purpose once, when he was about 14 years of age, he contrived to behave very badly while they were gone at the meetings at Fulneck so that they might fear to go another time, but that night he could not sleep until after midnight for the disquietude of his heart and was terribly frighted by a vision or spectre which, he always said, came to him while he was yet awake. This caused him to alter his behaviour to an orderly but dejected course.
When he was about 17 he obtained leave to live in the Course House where he continued 4 or 5 years, at first he was therein an hopeful youth and was soon received into the congregation, but after a while he became refractory and so very high-minded that he lost his senses and for some time it become needful to keep him in chains. When he had recovered so far as to be able to work for his living, he went to dwell with his parents, but he still would go his own bad way in disobedience to his creator and his parents, and was so stubborn and unruly as to show a disposition to beat his own father. Thus it became unavoidable that he must leave his father’s house and seek a place for himself. He then boarded for some time with a relation and went on in the world’s bad ways, but the convictions of his heart often made him uneasy. In about a year he sought acquaintance with his present widow, but her relations opposing their connection, he came awhile to his father and then went to live in Leeds, where he listed for a soldier, but soon repented it and was got free by his father, and soon listed again and repented again but was then obliged to remain a soldier about 3 months, though very miserable and much shocked at the bad actions of his comrades, until the soldiers, finding him unfit for their purpose, gave him his discharge in London. A Brother pitying him lent him money to return to his father and he came to him sickly and under convictions. After living in a Brother’s house in Pudsey for some months he married his present widow, by whom our Saviour has given him one daughter who is still with its mother in the care of the congregation.
On March 4th, 1768, he and his wife at their request were acknowledged as members of the society. His hot and impatient temper sometimes still broke out in a very disagreeable manner; when contradicted the otherwise, he kept to his work and went on orderly. As to his heart and conscience, he constantly showed and expressed himself self-condemned, dejected, and reserved. When his impending dissolution began to appear this spring, by plain tokens of a consumption, he could not bear to hear anything of it; the very mention stirring up an enmity in him until about May 20th; one night, he got a gracious look from his merciful Saviour, whereby he was quite altered and believed thenceforward that our Lord would take him in mercy, became genuinely openhearted (which had been hitherto wanting), confessed that pride and fleshly lusts had been the cause of all his deviations, and said: the enmity of ones own heart is much worse to bear than all bodily pain. According to his earnest and written request, he was publicly absolved on June 4th, and the whole congregation sung their hearty wishes for him. As his body grew weaker he became more and more desirous of going to Him who died for him, whom he could now look on as his best friend. Oh!, said he, I have been a great rebel against our Saviour, but now He will have mercy on me and I want to go to him. this very 1/4 of hour if it might be while you are here; he mentioned in a contrite manner his own bad behaviour at the time of his Brother Stephen’s last sickness, and also to his own wife at different times.
On July 16th, his head continually catched as convulsed as he often gasped for breath, and looked ghastly as a dying man, yet often repeated very sweetly: Dearest Saviour, come and fetch me! Dearest Lamb! My Saviour! My dear Lamb! Brother Greening said: dost thou then love that Saviour? he replied very earnestly: Yes I do love Him, I did long to live for him as a boy: but afterwards I was unfaithful, but now He has forgiven me and will be very pretty to live with him forever, ah! If I was but with Him! After this, by a discharge of much matter from his lungs, he was relieved for some days, once when he had spoken a good deal of his being a rebel, and of our Savour’s mercy he said: I was once out of my senses, oh! I shall have much to thank him for when I come home! This his ardent longing to go to his soul’s redeemer was granted him on July the 21st after receiving the blessing of the congregation in the 29th year of his age.
