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Title
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Grace Wilson (1737-1762)
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Creator
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Wilson, Grace, 1737-1762
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Publisher
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Moravian Lives Project
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Date
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1762
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Type
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Text
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Format
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image/jpg
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Description
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Written in English, this document is an autobiographical spiritual memoir of Grace Willsons (1737–1762) associated with the Moravian community. The narrative recounts her childhood in Wortley near Leeds, early exposure to Moravian meetings through her parents, and profound spiritual impressions formed through preaching about Christ’s wounds and sacrifice. The memoir describes her struggles with doubt, unworthiness, and unbelief, her eventual assurance of grace and forgiveness through Christ, and her increasing devotion within the Great Girls’ Choir, Single Sisters’ Choir, and Moravian congregation. It also reflects on her joyful participation in communal religious life, her longing for closer union with Christ, periods of serious illness, and her peaceful death in 1762 after receiving comfort through prayer, liturgy, and the fellowship of the sisters.
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Subject
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Wilson, Grace, 1737-1762
Moravians--Biography
Women--Biography
Autobiographies
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Identifier
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Ful/SS/33
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Place
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Fulneck, England
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Language
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eng
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Extent
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6 pages
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Rights Holder
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Fulneck Moravian Archives, Fulneck, England
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transcript of
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Grace Willsons was born Ap: 1 1737 at Wortley in the parish of Leeds. My parents belong’d the church of Eng: but frequenting the Brns Meetings, they took us Children very much often with them, My Mother would often Speak with me concerning how I might love Our Savr but I had no understanding of it yet I felt my self much pleased & my Ears attentively Open to all which I heard the Brn Speak who kept the meetings, & was particularly awe’d and restraind from Many Childest & selfways, thro’ a real fear of Griveing our dear Saviour, who had Suffer’d much out of Love to Me. when disobedience over took me it made My mind uneasey & I often went alone to weep, with real Longing to become acquainted with him whom I thus offended Bn Helt as Children parent often kept their Meetings And when he Spoak of our Savrs blood & wounds, my Heart filld presantly with Love & tenderness, so that it was a most pleaseing Subject to me, & particularly at one meeting, in which Bn Helt asked The Children Many Questions, concerning our Svrs wounds, & which was The greatest & what it was that pirced our Savrs Side, also what flowed from this Larg wound Hole a particular impression moved my heart, to answer all these Questions, & when I name’d that blood & water flowed out of His Side, I Then was overpowere’d
with such a peculiar feeling & that most Lovely form with all His wounds & bruises, stood before me, Now it was quite Clear to me, what had attacked my Heart & drawn me impreceptably thro’ my Childrens years, Thus in His dear nearness I went happily on And in My 14 year, I was taken into the Gr Girls Choir, which was a grace & blessing to me; But in some small time after I came into doubting over my self Whether I Stood in a right connection with our Savr for I became quite Miserable, all at once, & feeling my Corrupted Nature, made me disspair of Our Savr Ever havering ought to do with me again, Thus I went on believeing ev’ry body happier then myself, frequently I beg’d & pray’d my dearest Savr to forgive me all the wretched ness & Sin which I felt in me, & make me once again is happy & his Cherefull Child, at Times I felt some comfort but then again it was with Drawn, yet many a Time Those words was closely impressd on my mind, Thou Shall be mine not withstanding my unbeleive prevaild, & this disponding Situation, I kept much too myself, at Last I resolved to Speak about it to my Laboures, who told me just such poor Creatures our Savr wanted who cou’d not help themselves, so that His Grace alone might be the only remidy for their happiness, This was such a Comfort to my Heart as words cannot Express
yet I found my unbeleive remaining with Me & made me doubtfull over evry comfort Being Once in the preaching I heard the Sin of unbeleive particularly Expleind, & that all our Missery was, the Effects of that great Sin: Here it was, as if Something Spoak loudly in my Ear, & told me, That very Sin keeps Thee from being happy; I Directly beleived it to be true, & found my Heart was opening towards our Savr, Instantly I begd & pray’d that he wou’d take a way my unbeleive, & give me a full assurance of his rich forgiveness, here my dearest Savr vouch safe to grant The poor petitions of a destressed Heart, feeling what Smart & pain I,d cost Him, bowed me in the very dust, I can never Express how this Sight & feeling of my beloved has me Mended with abiding grace, Thro’ the future moments of my Life? Thus I spent my time in the Gr Girls Choir, as his unworthy Child, relying on his merits sinner and forgiveness as his poor but favour’d parting daily to be more & more to His Hearts Joy, & familiarly conversation with his dear & wounded person? I still live’d with my parents till my 20 year with Longings in my heart to be a Member of the congreg= in the year 57 I went to live in the occonomie at Gomersal, to my great Joy & blessing for my heart; this proved a necessary schooling for me, & in the Same year May 4 I was taken into the Single Sistrs Choir; The blessings of this festival Day will ever be precious to me I laid myself before My Hearts best Ferind
& pray’d that I might prosper in this origin Choir, Augst the 21 in the year 50 I was received into the congregation this quite bowed me down in Shame & deep abusement feeling Myself a poor unworthy Creature, that hour dear & of Grace will ever be memorable to me here & in Eternity my heart became desirious of Liveing in the Choirrhouse which as an unexpected fawour was granted me on Nov 11 the Same year, for this & the Many fawours I injoyd My dearest Lamb a lone know how with blushing cheeks I have kiss his thro’ pirced feet as his poor Child unworthy of the Smallest Grace my desire was to be a joy to him & pleaseing unto those who had the Care of me & also that I might be come a participant of the holy Corpses this & blood fawour was Granted me May 12 1759, which for shame at his thro’ bore’d feet, so fare her own words The Sacremental Graces has alway proved a peculiar & Especial blessing to our departed Sistr who has Spent her days in her Choir, in a cherefull happy manner who as a Child was very much beloved by all her sistrs which render her Course agreeable & Blessed: she often used to speak in a Melted manner about her Election of Grace & how our Savr had not only preserved her from the Seductions of the world, but had also been pleased to manifest himself in a particular manner to her poor Heart & in the injoyment of his dearnearness she went on uninterruptedly, her weakly Constitution caused her to think she shou’d not have Many years to Spend before
below & in Augst 1761 she got a violent pain in her side, & was oblige to continue for the Space of 3 months in the Sickroom, so that according to all appearance many Thought she proably might go home, which she seam’d Exceeding glad of, but her recoverying at that Time brought her into Some concern, for Said She I believe our Savr has not obtaind his full Aim with me, as yet however I am his Sinner poor & resignd to the will of my bridegroom pray I but please his Eyes dear. that is all I wish for, very Entertaining & her simple band like conversation was attended with a good feeling, Thus she went on in a Close attachment to her wounded freind on March 27 she got a relasp of her old disorder & betook herself to the Sickroom again our Doetnal Day being on the 29. She seem’d very much troubled in her mind that she cou’d not injoy the Choir oppor tunities, when ask’d if she believed she shou’d go home the answer was she did not know for Certain, but had some small hops, that her bridegroom would not let her be very Long, as he knows replye’d she what a poor Creature I am, & how much I long to be with him on Good Friday She partook once more of her Lords Corpses & blood to her unspeakable Joy & consolation, & in these Embraces the long’d for the Last Kiss But her dissolution being yet longer then her Expectation the Sistrs perceived her very thoughtfull for some days when She with a longing Smart made inquery of
of those that visited her, why our Savr did not fetch her to himself, a fortnight before her departure she one day discover’d by her cherefull Look that she now had got the assurance of going to her belove’d of which she Spoak with great Joy one cou’d offer hear her converse & pray to our Savr also thanking Him for what he’d done for her, & in these meditations she continued till the 8 of May, were one cou’d preceive her hour drew near, a Liturgy was keptd by her bed & she with a faltering Tongue Still days till she Breathd Forth her Spirit, dureing that verse the Soul of Christ the Sanchfie, she received the blessing of her Choir & went over into the Joy of her Lord about 4 a Clock in the Morning of May the 8 of 1762.
