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Title
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Martha Walker (1725-1791)
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Creator
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Walker, Martha, 1725-
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Publisher
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Moravian Lives Project
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Date
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1791
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Type
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Text
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Format
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image/jpg
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Description
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This handwritten document, dated June 22, 1785, appears to be an autobiographical religious testimony by Martha Walker describing her early life, spiritual struggles, and conversion experience. She explains that she was baptized in the Church of England, lost her father at a young age, and was raised by her widowed mother in difficult financial circumstances alongside several siblings. As a teenager, she became increasingly troubled about her soul and salvation, especially after hearing evangelical preaching brought into her area by traveling ministers. Although she initially resisted or felt conflicted by the message, the sermons deeply convicted her and led her into a period of emotional and spiritual reflection characteristic of 18th-century Protestant conversion narratives.
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Subject
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Walker, Martha, 1725-
Moravians--Biography
Women--Biography
Autobiographies
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Identifier
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Ful/SS/73
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Place
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Fulneck, England
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Language
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eng
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Extent
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7 pages
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Rights Holder
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Fulneck Moravian Archives, Fulneck, England
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transcript of
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Martha Walker Some particulars of the life of the late Sing. Sisr Martha Walker, written by herself.
I was Born Decr 12th. 1725 at Cheadly Home in ye Parish of Stockport Chesher and Bap’d in ye Church of England, but brought up a Presbn to which religion persuasion my Mother belong’d as I don’t remember any thing particular of my Chilns years, I shall pass over that time without saying any thing of it of that time till I came into my 16th year about which time I left my Father’s House & went to service when not long soon after my Father dep’d this life leaving my Mother with Five Chiln of whom I was oldest, and being naturally of a thinking Disposition I was brought into great perplexity of mind, and one day being exceedingly distress’d about not comprehending what wou’d become of us, that Text of Scripture darted so powerfully into my Mind I will be a Father to ye Fatherless & a friend to ye Widow Ps 68.5 that I was comforted yea and all my needless concern was was directly dissipated believing at ye same time most positively that ye Lord changeth not, but what he saieth is yea and Amen.
In my 17th year circumstances requir’d it that I chang’d my place which was exceedingly alone when and I enter’d into service in a farmers house in my own native place, which it was in this year that at the time when Mr Ingham & Mr Taylor came into these parts to preach ye Gosple, which being soon nois’d about, I with many many more went out of curiosity to hear I see wherein these Preachers differ’d from the generallity of other People, not understanding the meaning thereoff, but I was soon brought thereby to most serious and concern’d reflections about my miserable and lost conditon by nature, which I saw & feelt so plain that I was at once convinc’d, that if Jesus. did not save me I was undone forever and tho’ I now believ’d ye Minister’s Testimony that Jesus came into ye world to bleed and die in order to save Sinners yet ye World and its vanity at times got the uper hand appearing to me in most butiful and lively Colours for as such I then thought them to be, and engag’d my heart and mind so at times that they had certainly prov’d Master
had not my kind Shepheard himself who had already Chosen me for his property him self became the Conquerer, for after spending thus far of my life in ignorance way with regard to ye happiness to be enjoy’d in Christ Jesus, and a as a Sinner in sinfulness, I was under Mr lngham’s preaching on the words now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to god Cor. v. 20 brought more particularly to ye (understand the) reality of the matter in myself, wanting no other peace and seeking none else and when as he repeated the words: Christ is reconciled to you, I pray’d most sincerly to ye Lord to let me ex perience ye reallity of this grand truth in my heart with ye and I received the possitive assurance that I was excepted by him, and I went home with a deep sense of my fallen condition but at the same time rejoic’d at ye preciousness of Salvation in Christ Jesus, which I believed to be attainted too, tho’ as yet I had not experience’d it fully for myself, but was sincerely desirous after the same, and ye next day following ye Lord my God and Saviour made himself known to my heart, in that form wherein for all my need he underjustise rigor once on ye Cross didn’t bleed. I shall not attempt to explain or describe, what I then felt and enjoy’d, as this might only serve to marr what concerns the most important time of my life, from which time I date my happiness both in time and to unendless etternity, and as this is better understood by experience then explination, by every one who can say with me. Now no more I strive in vain Jesus Christ has wone my heart, First my thoughts and free from pain In his death. I have a part &c. I shall say no more about this important period but that it was in my 18th year when I was in the greatest danger and feelt more of my depraved nature then at any other time in my Life, This put a stop to my running headlong into many foolish erro’s which otherwise my natural inclinations wou’d have led me to, but as I in some measure felt a liking for what I thought concerned not Christ I begun to under stand ye Lord’s will was not mine will was not mine now and I frequently pray’d to him since he had confered ye greatest of blessings upon me, in forgiving me my Sins also to make known his mind to me with regard to perticulars which were was a disturbance to me in my enjoyment of him and entierly to set me at liberty from all but everything that so I might have him alone, and as I found this requir’d a true resignation to his will, this became a matter of concern with to me praying the Lord frequent to hear and help me, and since I knew I was his, I durst not do any thing of myself tho’ I often had the greatest inclination there to, but ye Lords hand was over me in a most particular manner, which I have been more sensible off since then at that time, and according to my petition so it was with me, for I soon found myself intierly set at liberty from everything all by
my dear. Saviour understanding he had thoughts of peace over me, after which time I went on in an uninterrupted intercourse with him my best friend, who was become my dearest and nearest object in the midst of the World.
I then join’d Mr Taylor’s Society, but a disagreable circumstance happen’d to him which was were the occasion of his leaving us, & ye means of Br Ockerhousen’s coming into these parts in order to settle a regular Society of which I was one & frequented the preach ing at Duckenfield as often as possible, and in 1748 according to my request I went to live with ye S. Srs at Duckenfield to which I had a particular call in my heart from our dear Saviour, & being quite clear in my call I spent my time chearful and happy. In ye year 1750 I came with 9 more Srs to live in Tiresall Oeconomy here in Yorkshire and during my stay there I was recd into ye Congn & became Spectator of ye holy comunion which both was very weighty to me. In Decr 1752 I movd with some more to Fulneck in order to begin the Choirhouse where I’ve spent ye remainder part of my life. In april following I became partaker of ye holy Sacrament with this Congn which grace was recd by me with a deep sencibility of my unworthiness which made me very timerous about myself Concerning the same but I was strengthened by my dear Saviours owning & Comforting me thereby to my great a basement, so that thro’ his grace I have been enabled to partake thereoff every since when ever this Congn on our Choir has been privilidg’d have been favored with the enjoyment thereof, to my real strength and help thro’ this vale of Tears: and my heart rejoices when ever its approach the time for it draweth nigh, and it was I to rehearse only some parts of the particulars of my course, relative to the internal matter since I came into this house it wou’d at make the description of it too long, therefore, I shall leave it with only asking the following concerning what the Lord his done on my Soul. I sought him, & found him, while he drew me with the cords of his love & has overcome me so far that I am made one Spirit with him, never more to part to an endless Eternity what I have experience’d in the enjoyment of him from time to time and how I have been instructed by his faithful Schooling in ye knowledge of my deep depravity & nothingness, in stillness, will be matter of thanks & praise with
Martha Walker Our late dear Sister has in the above given a faithful & true account of her course thro’ time. She was an humble simple devoted Soul; & counted it a privilege to serve our Savior whenever it was in her power. She has been 45 Years a very faithful Sickwaiter in the Single Sisters house here, during which time She has attended the 145 Sisters, who have departed to our Savior. In her office She was truly disinterested. impartial, tender to everyone, patient and loving; so that all both those who have departed under her care, & who have recoverd, always spoke of her with the greatest regard, and her memory venerable among us. She remained in the Sickroom as long as she was able, till in this seven Months before her departure. She being troubled with a complaint in her leg, in which She sufferd much pain, she beged leave to retire from her office, & she spent her time amidst all her suffering chearfully & happily, in hopes of soon seeing her Savior.
Her complaint towards the close of her life became still more extensive spread exceedingly; a mortification having taken place. But amidst all, she was exceedingly patient, & ardently longing to be at home with the Lord. One night, shortly before her end, She desired that her Choirhelper might be called; to whom when she came, she said, that she wished to tell her, how unspeakably happy she was, & how near she felt our Savr, so that the could almost forget her bodily pain. In this happy state she continued till at pleased our Lord, on the 22nd of Jany to receive her redeemed Soul, which when * she fell gently & happily asleep in the 75 66th Year of her age. * having recd the blessing of her Choir
and we must give her testimony that she lived in a near Connexion with our Savior, and knew herself as a Sinner often said She was the poorest Creature our Savior could have chosen, but was very thankful for her happy Lot of Grace, the Srs Sometimes wou’d tell her how well She might have had it in the world, She always said what would that have been to me it I had never known my Savr he is of more worth to me than all this world can give. towards the latter end of her life She was very often Speaking of the goodness of our Savior as she frequlently had very bad rest in the Night she wou’d say in the Morning how near our savior had heart to her, and that she cou’d tell him every thing
and that it was impossible to tell how kind he was to her he had never done her any thing but good on Our Last festival when She with the other sick Srs had her share of the Holy Comn brought to her, she was remarkably Cheerful and spoke afterwards of the grace she had enjoy’d and how near our Savior had been to her, She had, had several bad nights but no one thought her end so near, or the 6 in the Night she was taken very Ill and in the Morning the Doctor went to see her who told her the wou’d not live long, She was to delighted at the thought of it that She cou’d not express her Joy, her Breath was so bad that She cou’d not keep her bed but was oblig’d to sit up day & night.
