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Title
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Mary Tattersall (1756-)
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Creator
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Tattersall, Mary, 1756-
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Publisher
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Moravian Lives Project
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Type
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Text
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Format
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image/jpg
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Description
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This autobiographical memoir describes the spiritual journey of Mary Tattersall, who was raised near Halifax within the Moravian religious community. After losing her mother young, she struggled with temptation, doubt, and spiritual uncertainty before gradually deepening her faith through prayer, religious meetings, and devotion to Christ. She eventually joined the Moravian “Single Sisters” community at Fulneck, where she committed herself fully to religious life and sought to live faithfully despite ongoing inner struggles.
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Subject
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Tattersall, Mary, 1756-
Moravians--Biography
Women--Biography
Autobiographies
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Identifier
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Ful/SS/64
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Place
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Fulneck, England
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Language
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eng
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Extent
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6 pages
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Rights Holder
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Fulneck Moravian Archives, Fulneck, England
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transcript of
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The life of the our late S. Sister Mary Tattersall
as wrote by herself.
I was born at Kingcross near Hallifax May
the 29th 1756 and babtized in the Church of England.
In my when very young I remember with
gratitude to my dear Savior to have had a
very tender impression of his dying love in
my heart, & the childrens meetings kept at
that time by the Brethren at Stanery near
Hallifax were of great blessing to me.
In my 7th year it pleas’d our Savior to take
home to himself my dear Mother, whose loss
I had much reason to regret on many accounts,
as she made it her chief study to watch over
me for my welfare, both as to Soul and Body.
In about a year after my Father married again,
by the consent of the Brethren which proved
a great change for me, being much more exposd
to many things, that I had hitherto been kept
from. tho’ at first, I did not feel that my heart,
| which then I did not know | was drawn aside
from that real simplicity I had enjoy’d in
my connexion with my dear dear savior, yet very soon by means of some particular
circumstances I gradually began to enter
into things that suited my depraved heart nature
and I consequently lost for a time my first
impression. I cannot pass over a period of my
life without taking notice of our Saviors faithful
ness towards me his poor child, from my ear-
liest Infancy, & with what unwearied patience
he has sought to keep me his poor wandering sheep
to keep with his fold. In my 12th year having
had repeated admonitions from my Father not
to play with those children that he knew wou’d
be of not benefit to me | as he was very much
concern’d that I shou’d prosper for the Lord |
but my obstanate heart rejected all his
advice. & I was at that time determined
to pursue my own way till at length our
Savior by means of a dream brought me to a
recollection, & on reflecting very solidly on
the course I was then pursuing caused
me to turn to him in pray’r promising
him that I wou’d be his intire property.
Some weeks after, when sitting alone in a room
at my work, our Savior particulary manifested
himself to me as on the Cross as bleeding &
dying for my sins which caused me to shed
many tears at his thro’ pierced feet. this I
cou’d not at that time comprehend, but how
how often have I wish’d since that time to
have had that those most happy sensations again which I had then,
I but I have found, that I have had to traverse
this vale of woe & tears by faith, relying on
on my dear Savior, who out of love to my
soul purchas’d it at no less a price than
his own precious blood, & in whom I have that
confidence, that he will lead me safely through
my pilgrimage here below & in his own good
time change my faith into sight, to live in
this presence for ever. In the year 1769
I had the favor to be received among the
great Girls in the S Srs pray’r Hall in at Ful-
neck, we were 18 in number, and the very
impressive discourse kept by Br Worthington
made a deep impression upon my poor heart,
so that from this that time it became clear to me
that here my lot is was cast to follow my dear Savr
among his people, and on the 6th of May
the same year, I obtained leave to live in
the Srs oeconomy at Littlemore, for which
I was very thankful, and altho I found it
very difficult to come thro in my outwurd
circumstances, & which I certainly cou’d not had
done, had not my Grandmother assisted
me, yet I was determined to weather the storm venture every thing
having a deep & clear conviction in my heart
that this was the path my Savr appointed
me to walk in altho at times | owing to my cir-
cumstances & reasoning very dark clouds intercepted to interrupted the clearness of it
for at times for having lost that simplicity I once
had in the Lord, I begun to reason about his
existance, & if there really was a possibillity that He cou’d
in any Measure, help me thro’, thus I went on
for some time, keeping things to myself, which
I shou’d have communicated to those, who
from experience cou’d have directed me
to the service of help, I did not at this
time absent myself in which proved very
detrimental to me. The meetings at this time.
proved a great blessing to my heart, as they
always suited my case in such a Manner
that I was led to think they were particularly
kept to me. In 1774 I remov’d to the Srs House
in Fulneck, & the year following was recd into the
S. Srs Choir. I now renew’d my covenant with
our Savr, & earnestly pray’d that I might
become More & More devoted to him in
this Choir, than I had been in my Girls
years, but being rather of a legal turn of mind
I had to struggle with myself, not liking
to acknowlege to our Savr, or to those to whom
I shou’d have placed confidence in, that
I was to blame in Many such things, that which the clear
conviction in my heart, told me was were not
according to the Minds of my dear Lord.
however I pray’d that I might become more
open hearted, which in the sequel was
granted me & being once at my speaking
my dear Sr Anna Rosel my choir Laboress, she said, “Your
self righteousness will prove your ruin”
these words made a deep impression upon me
and caused me to examine myself more
minutely, than I had ever done before done and to ask my &
self whether I cou’d surrender both soul, & body to
by our dear Savior in the Congregation, being
I conscious that I had gone on in a very super-
ficial Manner thus far, but from this
time I date my the surrender of my heart to
my best friend; being determined thro’ all
difficulties to cleave to, & live alone for Him
March 31st 1777 I had the grace & favor
to be received into the Congn, this was a
day of peculiar blessing to me, hearing
and I anew devoted myself anew to our Savr
May 2 1780 I partook for the first time
of the Lords Body & Blood in the H Comn with
the Congn, which has proved ever blessed &
memorable to my poor heart.
NB. now the Sisters are to add the remainder also what refers to her last
hours.
